Permanent
by AIR XXIVCIVIIIV
Summary: Fuji's on the brink of death and Tezuka has yet to apologize for what he did. Some may say it's too late, but it's never too late for Fuji. TezukaxFuji
1. Chapter 1

_Hi Guys! So I know I have like 2 other stories, but I've been obssessed w/ the Prince of Tennis lately and came up with this. Second chapter to be up sometime tomorrow! Only 2 chapters for this story to keep it short :) Thanks guys! Love and all, -AIR_

* * *

How long has it been, since the last time he saw Syusuke? Tezuka stared up in the gray clouds walking home from practice. A little over three months, he calculated, since the last time I saw Fuji. Everyone on the team but him has been visiting the prodigy everyday or every other day. He knew for a fact Eiji's been visiting everyday. He wanted to see Fuji, but wasn't so sure if he could.

Three months ago, Fuji stopped coming to practice due to fever, but after a week passed, the Regulars started to worry. Two weeks passed and they already created a visiting schedule. Of course Oishi had invited the captain several times, but Tezuka always made up an excuse. Today, though, Oishi came up to him for something different.

"He's not going to last very long." He remembered the vice-captain's worried voice as he broke the news. How long was not very long?

There were many reasons on why Tezuka didn't want to visit. The main one was being Fuji's ex-boyfriend. He had cheated on the younger boy with their new regular, Ryoma. And after that, the two seemed like different people. He treated his best friend differently. Fuji didn't even stand next to Tezuka anymore. Whenever Fuji would get close, the captain would push him away. Everytime he thought about it, from the outside, it looked like a cold-hearted bastard just slapped an angel.

Before he knew it, he was standing outside the Fuji residence, waiting for someone to open the door. Yumiko greeted him. She had a rather surprised look when she offered to let him in. He slowly followed her up to Syusuke's room, not knowing what to say when he sees his teammate.

Yumiko knocked on the door first. "Syusuke, you have a visitor." Then Tezuka heard the soft gentle voice of the prodigy telling her to enter. Yumiko lead the captain inside her younger brother's room. "I'll leave you guys to it." She said before leaving them alone.

In front of him, Syusuke was standing in front of his open window, admiring the sunset. He took a deep breath and turned around with a small smile.

"What brings you here, Tezuka?" The taller boy nearly cringed at the sound of his name. It hurt hearing it from Syusuke.

He studied the blue-eyed boy standing before him. Even if their number two player was small, he definitely wasn't thin and didn't look like he was deprived of sleep. If it weren't for his pride, Tezuka would've definitely broken down. But he kept himself collected.

"Is it a crime to see how a teammate is doing after three months of absence?"

Syusuke walked to his bed and sat down on the edge. "You never seemed interested in seeing me before. Care to tell me the reason why?"

Tezuka didn't look at his friend. His eyes planted on the outside world. The sun was almost down, leaving a dark orange tint in the sky. "Oishi said you didn't have long to live. I-"

"So you wanted to see me before I die?" The captain stared ahead of him to be captivated by these sapphire eyes. He realized that Syusuke's smile widened a bit. "That's thoughtful of you, Tezuka. I thought you'd never visit me." Tezuka shuddered. He wasn't used to Fuji calling him by his last name. "So, who is it that guilted you to it?"

No on, he wanted to answer, I genuinely wanted to see you. But that was half a lie. "I told you, Oishi just explained to me your situation, that's all."

"I see. Well, thanks for dropping by. Guess this is the last time I'll see you?"

Tezuka felt his heart flinch at the last sentence. The last time? "Fuji I-"

"You should head back; it's getting pretty late." The sky was darker now, only strokes of orange and pink showed. Syusuke got up and gently wrapped his arms around his friend. The captain couldn't return the gesture. He was too startled by how he could feel Fuji's iron hot skin through his clothing.

"Fuji you- you're running a fever." He felt the smaller boy's body slump a little. "Fuji!"

Syusuke pulled back with his usual grin. "I know. It'll never go away until I die."

Tezuka didn't want to let him go. He wanted to go after Fuji and apologize to him for all the pain in the past. Instead, he answered back with, "Then get some rest. I'm sure you'll want to be able to stand when the team visits you again tomorrow." Without hearing what Fuji had to say, he left.

* * *

Monday's morning practice held quite a surprise. Everyone's eyes widened at the sight of their No. 2 player. It's been months since they saw Fuji holding a racquet. He still looked pale and tired as many remembered from visiting him.

Eiji ran up to Fuji with a worried expression. "Fuji! What are you doing here? You should be home!"

But the prodigy only gave him a smile. "I'm fine Eiji. My fever lowered yesterday and nee-san said if it stayed that way, I could go to school. Besides, I missed you guys." He smiled at the other regulars standing behind his best friend.

"We missed you too, Fuji!" Taka ran up to give his friend a hug and everyone followed but Tezuka. He watched as his ex-boyfriend hugged his current boyfriend. He was glad and confused at the fact that Fuji and Ryoma still held a friendship.

"Alright, everyone back to work!" Tezuka announced. The Regulars were holding practice matches against eachother and Fuji decided to play Ryoma. Taka was playing against Momo and Kaido played against Oishi.

Kikumaru, Tezuka, and Inui stood outside the courts to watch. All three of them, however, watched Fuji and Ryoma play. Eiji knew his best friend and he knew that Fuji wasn't feeling too well. The little guy didn't notice it.

Within twenty minutes, everyone and now Ryoma, knew something was wrong with Fuji. He dropped his service game twice and was now losing to Ryoma 4-0. The freshman was upset at how terribly his senpai was playing.

"Say, Tezuka? Shouldn't we stop it before something bad happens to Fuji?" Eiji asked, eying his friend.

The captain also noticed how awfully weak Fuji was playing. Before his boyfriend could serve and before Fuji got hurt, he called, "Ryoma, Fuji, that's enough!"

The two players were a bit stunned but glad he had stopped them. "Sorry about this match." Syusuke gave the little boy a smile.

"You should've just stayed out Fuji-senpai." Ryoma walked out the court to stand by Tezuka. It used to be Fuji's favorite place to stand.

Eiji quickly sprinted in the court to bombard Fuji with questions about his health. Tezuka watched as Fuji reassured Kikumaru that he was okay and he didn't need to worry.

* * *

After morning practice, Fuji and Ryoma were the only ones left in the clubhouse. Fuji was sitting on the bench, watching the freshman pack his things.

"So, how are things with Tezuka?" Fuji asked, his usual smile on his face.

Echizen stopped packing and turned to look at his senpai. He knew that their captain had cheated on Fuji to be with Ryoma. And even then, Ryoma didn't want to hurt Fuji.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Syusuke's eyes opened, revealing his eyes. "Oh? What for?"

"For taking him away from you." Ryoma's eyes pointed down. He looked like he was about to cry.

Fuji stood up and lifted the younger boy's chin so he was looking at his blue eyes. "Don't apologize for something that wasn't your fault. It was my mistake. I couldn't make him happy." His smile grew wider. "So love him with all you have, okay?"

Ryoma nodded the same time a tear slipped form his eye. He felt Syusuke's gentle fingers wipe away the trail and he cried even more. How can his cold-hearted boyfriend leave and hurt an angel like Fuji? It didn't make any sense. And with that thought, guilt ravaged Ryoma's heart to the core. He made Tezuka leave and hurt an angel. It was his fault.

"Don't cry, Echizen. You never did anything wrong." Fuji grabbed his bag and opened the door to leave. "I'll you later."

* * *

Afternoon practice wasn't as smooth sailing as morning practice. Fuji passed out right after running. Oishi then realized his high fever returned and wore out the smaller boy. Taka carried a sleeping Fuji in his arms and Eiji stayed with him until Yumiko came and picked up her little brother. All the regulars agreed they'd visit him after practice. Tezuka also agreed to go much to everyone's surprise.

Fuji heard what the doctor had to say about his condition. He was getting worse and there was nothing they could do to make him better. It was only a matter of time. Only a matter of time until he died. So he was really that close to death, huh?

The regulars arrived an hour later. Just seeing his teammate brought life back to Fuji's eyes. Yumiko noticed this a long time ago. She never declined a visitor since then. They stayed and kept their friend and teammate company for a couple hours before heading back.

Tezuka and Echizen walked side-by-side back to the youngest player's home. The silence wasn't new or comfortable. The captain knew something was wrong.

"Kunimitsu." Ryoma started. "Do you think I love you?"

The captain didn't look at his boyfriend's direction. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Do you feel loved when we're together?"

Tezuka's eyes shifted down to Ryoma's worried face. "I do. Why?"

 _Love him with all you have. Love him with all you have._ Those words kept repeating in Ryoma's head in Fuji's sweet voice. "I'm loving you with everything I have, Kunimitsu."

"I know. I am, too." Before they knew it, they reached the Echizen household. Tezuka kissed his boyfriend good-bye and headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys! So here's Chapter II with an Epilogue! Sorry it took so long! I wrote like 3 different ending before I finally decided on a decent one soo... Plus I was all over town today so I didn't get much time to read it over. If you find any mistakes, tell me and I'd be glad to fix it :) Hope you guys like it! BTW, I used some lyrics from a song towards the end soo I don't own 'em_

* * *

The next few days were awful. The Regulars lost their concentration and were constantly distracted. Tezuka heard from Oishi that Fuji's condition worsened. He wasn't responding to anything around him and he barely moved unlike before. He also learned that Fuji refused to go to the hospital because he already accepted his death. The captain cancelled afternoon practice. He knew they weren't going to be able to play their fullest anyway.

The Regulars wanted to visit Fuji again, but were all occupied after practice, even Ryoma. Tezuka didn't plan on visiting his teammate, but found himself in front of the Fuji residence, anyway. Yumiko let him in, glad he visited. She needed to head out to get more medicine and trusted her little brother to him.

When Tezuka saw Fuji's body, his knees almost gave in. Syusuke had a pale complexion, but it certainly wasn't paper white. He was still, panting, shivering, and sweating at the same time. The captain maneuvered over to his bedside. He admired Syusuke's features even if it wasn't in its best form. He missed him. He missed him a lot. He missed his blue eyes, his soft touch, his voice, his calm yet sadistic personality. Everything about Fuji he missed. He didn't want to admit it, but he also missed his love, his kisses, the attention he gave Tezuka, the loving gestures. Then he remembered what Oishi told him, he accepted his death.

Tezuka gently touched Syusuke's cheek, feeling the great warmth. "Fuji," he whispered, "wake up."

The younger boy stirred and opened his eyes. "T-Tezuka? What are… what are you doing here?"

"I want to take you somewhere. Sit up." The older boy helped Fuji's weak body sit and lean against the headboard. He noticed the white shirt that Fuji wore was soaked with sweat. He opened his closet and found another plain shirt.

Tezuka stripped off Fuji's damp shirt and carefully ran a cool cloth over the younger male's back and arms. Then he pulled the clean top over Syusuke's head and down his body.

"Okay. Come on." Tezuka turned his back towards the other boy and kneeled. Fuji got the idea. He climbed on and wrapped his arms around the captain's neck.

It wasn't hard to lift Fuji. He was light. Lighter than what Tezuka had remembered.

* * *

Outside was cool and cloudy; the kind of weather they've been having lately. Tezuka could hear Fuji's heavy breathing. They were walking towards a park that didn't have many people on cloudy days. The path was empty and the air was crisp and nice.

"It feels good to be outside again, doesn't it?" Fuji's head shifted forward.

"Thank you." His soft sweet voice whispered. Tezuka felt the soft brush of Fuji's breath when he spoke.

"When you get better, the team and I will take you back out here. Probably during a day when there's plenty of sun. They would enjoy spending time with you again. "

"Tezuka?" Syusuke's frail voice cut through the air.

"Mm?"

"Sorry."

The taller boy didn't question the apology. "When you get back, you're doing a double training session. The Nationals are coming up and you need to get back on your top condition in order to win. Besides, having you in practice again relieves the team. They'll focus better and train harder. You need to get better surrounding teams are disappointed everyone we play against them without you. Even if we have plenty of talented players, Seigaku needs you."

Tezuka continued his one-sided conversation. As he walked, he started to notice that Fuji got heavier second by second. He didn't feel the short breaths, didn't feel the arms tightly around his neck, and he knew he wouldn't feel his heart beating. The wind became colder and blew more often. Petals from nearby Sakura trees danced with the breeze's rhythm.

Kunimitsu Tezuka stopped at the park entrance, biting down on his lip to keep the tears in his eyes.

" _I_ need you."

* * *

 _Say, Kunimitsu? Isn't life strange? One moment, a complete stranger can become your best friend, become your lover, and the next, that same person can become a complete stranger. It's strange isn't it? How I can know you one day and not know you tomorrow? To be honest with you, I had fun. I thank you, my dear friend, for letting me experience love with you, heartbreak with you, helplessness with you. I thank you for loving me even if it was for a short amount of time. But in the end…_

 _…No one will ever understand how much it hurts…_

* * *

Epilogue:

Syusuke's funeral was like the typical. Everyone wore black and gave their condolences to the family. Not a lot of people attended; it was mostly close families that were in Japan and to Tezuka's surprise, members of surrounding tennis teams.

Hyotei's Keigo Atobe and Jirou Akutagawa, Rokkaku's Saeki Kojirou, Rikkaidai's Seiichi Yukimura, Genichirou Sanada, and Akaya Kirihara, and the entire Fudomine team showed to pay their respects.

A small gathering following the service was held at the Fuji household. Everyone that came mourned the loss of someone that had affected them. Of course, Syusuke's family and Seigaku's tennis team were taking it the hardest. Out of everyone in the team, Eiji cried the hardest. Tezuka didn't cry at all.

In the house's dining room table, pictures of Syusuke from when he was little to the present decorated the wooden furniture. Small candles surrounded the frames. Some were pictures of when he was in Chiba with Saeki winning matches against him and other tournaments. He looked so… happy. Then there were some of when the Seigaku tennis club won Regionals, Metropolitans, and Kanto tournaments. The one that caught Tezuka's eye was a picture of him with Syusuke during practice. The shorter boy was looking at the camera and smiling as usual while Tezuka looked straight ahead with that emotionless face he wore.

"Tezuka?" He followed the sound of the soft voice to face a tear-stained Yumiko. He didn't want to look at her. He knew how much she loved her little brother; he didn't want to see her broken. "You and Syusuke had a lot of memories together, didn't you?" The captain nodded. Yumiko stepped closer and hugged the younger boy. "Thank you, Tezuka. Thank you for loving my brother and making him smile, even if it was just for a short amount of time."

The taller boy couldn't let himself hug her. His body was frozen and didn't listen to what his mind wanted. When Yumiko pulled away, she thanked him one more time and left to greet the other people.

Tezuka watched as his team gathered around him with pained looks on their faces. Eiji hadn't stopped crying and Taka shed a few tears. Everyone was on the brink of crying. Ryoma as well. Why couldn't he feel anything? Why couldn't he cry and bawl like Kikumaru? Did experiencing Fuji dying in his hold leave him numb to any pain inferior to death?

Ryoma didn't even accompany him home. He needed some space and time to think and recover. His parents didn't even greet him. The world surrounding Tezuka seemed so hazy and still, like nothing could save him.

 _You almost feel ashamed_

 _That someone could be that important_

 _That without them, you feel like nothing._

Tezuka studied his reflection in the bathroom mirror for a moment. Outside, he saw an emotionless face and a stern look. Inside, he wished he could say the same. But inside, he was vulnerable to an extent and filled with pride it was dangerous. Tennis players may deem him great, but he deemed himself pathetic, weak, and afraid. Blood suddenly dripped from his knuckles as the mirror cracked and shattered.

 _And when it's over and it's gone,_

 _You almost wished that_

 _You could have all that bad stuff back,_

 _So you could have the good._


End file.
